Thursday, May 5, 2016
Is imitation a form of flattery?
Is imitation the highest form of flattery? I would have to say no to that question. Maybe for some it is or in some ways it can be, but for me it isn't like that. I have always heard when someone imitates or copies you it is the sincerest form of flattery but for me it has been a huge headache, a lot of heart ache, anxiety and drama. I have just wanted it to end since I found out about it. It gets so old when you are having people send you endless screen shots of the person following the same people, commenting on same posts and then dressing, doing the same things, and even looking like you. There is plenty of room in the Blogger world and social media for everyone to do their own thing, just like there are plenty of shops, designers and styles someone can rock or shop through, why continue for almost two years to follow and buy from the same designers or shops I start following and buying from? Collecting the same items or styles of things I collect? Starting a blog when I have been blogging for years before this person but then they run around telling anyone who will listen that I copied their blog, their style and anything they seem to think they invented. It's just insane. Not only is it immature to go around calling people copy cats, quoting the Mean Girls movie and stalking/copying others, but then to play the victim is just sad and wrong on so many levels.
I never followed this person, this person actually became friends via social media with a female I had to get a court order of protection against that was a total crazy. I had tried to be her friend but she ended up being way more then I could deal with from the start. As soon as I accepted her on FB she was tagging me in her pictures and leaving comments like we had been friends for years. Saying we were like sisters and twinning, it was insanity never dealt with anything like that and think she may have had some type of mental trauma in middle school because she was stuck in middle school age actions, then she also went through a delusional phase where she was persuaded I wanted to be her but I had been working in design, blogging and loved photography for years before we met.
After the court order she then decided to make it fun and have this girl who lives in another state almost on the other side of the country begin to harass me and stalk me. When I first found out of this female it was from a fellow follower who saw two shirts I had posted that she now had ordered and was following the page, all over their posts. Then I started looking around and saw comments I posted on pictures of people I followed that right after she and the other single white female had also left comments digging and taking jabs at me. It's funny cause they would make fun of me but then turn around and post similar photos or looks.
I personally am not into competing, drama or any negativity. I have not seen her new blog except for the day she launched it cause she made fake claims and lies about how I stole her layout and header. Which later was retracted by the blog that had written about it cause it just wasn't true. How can you copy someone when you had a blog way before them? How can you copy someone when you have been collecting graphic tees since you were a teen and you only just learned of this person last summer?? It's just plain craziness. I know I'm not alone I have met several other women who this same girl has stalked, stolen content from and bullied. She walks around preaching kindness and anti bullying but has had me in tears to the point I was about to delete my social media and blog. I have reached out and asked why, you don't know me? This person can't even admit knowing me and can't seem to tell the truth about her bullying and mean comments, which I know for a fact to be true.
In the end the moral and meaning behind my post, if you are on social media and dealing with someone being mean, stalking you, harassing you, lying about you, making false accusations, saying delusional things and so forth, just ignore it and know you aren't alone. This happens daily and I have met so many amazing bloggers and social media friends who have thousands of followers and are really just amazing people that have told me similar stories. It can happen to anyone. I never felt it would happen to me because who am I? I'm no one special, I'm just a mom for Florida that worked as an interior designer, owned my own business focused around design and party/event planning, made cakes and desserts, had an Etsy shop selling my handmade goods, blogger and now working full time as a fashion stylist and curator. Not just a curator of at home flat lay photos or for my blog. I curate for online shops and boutiques as well as huge department stores, designers, shoots and more. I am about to embark on a new journey styling over the summer for an amazing high end designer. I'm not making up fancy names for my career or job to make it seem I have more going on then I do. I don't buy followers and most important I don't copy anyone. Yes, I am influenced and inspired by fellow bloggers or stylists but I don't want to be anyone. I love myself, my life and everything about myself and who I am. I am happily married, have two smart gorgeous kids who are so kind caring and the pride of my life, we have a lovely home, nice cars, material things (which to me aren't important), my health isn't the best due to my MS, RA and Sjorgen's, but I'm blessed to have doctors that are amazing and my friends/family support always. I really am the happiest and most content I have been in my life and have no reason to do anything that this delusional person has accused me of or continues to try to gain sympathy playing the victim of these made up stories she tells people.
Usually stalkers and bullies are the ones who try to play the victim when they are the ones hurting others, usually because they have low self esteem or too much free time or even have been bullied before maybe when they were younger. I just want it over with, drama makes me sick and gives me anxiety two things I don't need with my health issues because it just makes me health stuff worse. My blog is my blog, my content, my ideas, my layout, my photos, and then I can promise you that I am always wearing and buying clothes I love. I would never waste my hard earned money trying to copy someone or keep up with the Joneses as they say. I can almost guarantee you that I can show you almost every item I have and that I had it before or wore it first, or maybe wrote or posted somewhere I had bought it, but like I said it isn't a competition and I don't need to use my story of being harassed and bullied online, being copied and having someone steal my ideas but reap the benefits, for sympathy. In the end I have been over it I don't pay any mind to the rumors and lies then usually most of the people I work with know all about this person and what she has done to hurt me, make me look bad and I usually don't even have to do much to prove myself it's easy to see if you really take a look.
If you are dealing with this or any form of harassment or online bullying always remember to hold your head up high, always be yourself and don't let anyone dull your sparkle. If someone is being mean to you, bullying you and copying you its cause they are jealous, envious, sick, or just immature. Don't waste your time trying to reason with these people cause it's not possible. I tried and all this person wanted was my phone number! No way lol I don't want to talk to and argue with someone that is not going to admit to their part, you can't convince me of your lies when I know my own truth, or have to change my number again, already been there with the first girl. I said sorry for my part in the drama, there was a few times I defended myself or my friends did which led to some mean comments being said but when you have been hurt so many times some times you say things out of anger, I said sorry but never got any apology or even admission to what had been done to me. It was scary how delusional and what a liar this person is, I had an idea from another female she did the same thing to but guess I had to find out for myself. It was sad really I gave this person the benefit of the doubt thinking she may have some sense and heart but I was just a waste. Then it never ends it goes on and on, but if she didn't have this story line or drama what would she do? Nothing post pics of plants and flat-lays. She needs to keep posting about these lies and delusions to get attention. If you ever have any concerns or hear any rumors concerning me please feel free to email or message me I am sure I can clear them all up very quickly. Remember people can make a profile and pretend to be who ever or what ever they want to be, beware who you trust and who you believe because you never know who you are talking to or what they are capable of doing.
Thanks for passing by and be sure to check out some amazing campaigns for anti bullying and social media harassment or stalking. January is national stalker awareness month and they have lots of amazing websites for information and what to do if this happens to you. I have a lawyer I have had for a few years from local issues and he handles all my concerns. Don't ever try to deal with these people on your own, I did send an email and reach out with good intentions but it didn't get me anywhere and didn't make matters better. I think just getting a reaction out of you is part of the game so the best advice I can give anyone is do you and ignore any negative people, block and move on.
Have a great weekend, Peace Love and Wanderlust always xoxo